Tuesday, November 3, 2009

So Of Course He Loves Old Ordinary Me.

I started this blog really wanted to write it in regularly. Every now and then I get inspired in my morning journallings with Jesus. I often think I should jot a few notes down online--but I write verses or thoughts out in my journal and don't think to blog after that. Silly me. A lot's been going on in my mind the past few weeks... About life and priorities and what really matters when you strip it all away. Jesus. He's what matters.

If my main priority in life isn't to glorify His name and live to get to know Him better each and every day that I live, I'm a little screwed up. Just gotta be blunt. And some days: I'm screwed up. He's not the first thing on my mind. Sometimes He's the last thing on my mind. Business usually takes #1 in my mind. Me goes #2. Family becomes #3 and friends are thrown in there somewhere. That's my natural order of priorities: and it's RIDICULOUS. What a ridiculous human being I am. Absurd.

I'm learning more and more each day about the love of Jesus. Sometimes I'll be listening to a song and just start crying. And I'll cry as I realize how much He loves us. How much He's blessed us. How excited I am for Heaven. It's so overwhelming. I recently finished reading "Traveling Mercies" by Anne Lamott (she's got some wonky theology but she's a beautiful writer and has some great imagery) & here is one of my favourite quotes:

"The mystery of God's love as I understand it is that God loves the man who was being mean to his dog just as much as he loves babies; God love Susan Smith, who drowned her two sons, as much as he loves Desmond Tutu. And he loved her just as much while she was releasing the handbrake of her car that sent her boys into the river as he did when she first nursed them. So of course He loves old ordinary me, even or especially at my most scared and petty and mean and obsessive. Loves me; CHOOSES me."

What a great God we worship.

10 comments:

  1. Yes, she's bonkers, but she's prolific in displaying the love of God.

    Great insight :)

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  2. I hear you on this. I get way too into bands I like, wanting to go to more and more shows, wishing I could travel in a band or with a band or whatever.. to the point that it is unhealthy and I get majorly depressed. Every now and then I snap myself out of it and realize that there is so much more to life. If God was #1 all the time I wouldn't have this issue. I also break down and cry sometimes when a song hits me like that.
    Anyway, thanks for sharing :)

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  3. Good post Jamie - when I read these words I am encouraged that God tugs on your heart continually - this is my peace as a Mom, that it is God that is guiding you, keeping you, forgiving you, inspiring you, melting you, molding you and loving you. So glad you're mine! Oh, how He loves us.

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  4. Ahh, I'm so with you on having screwed up days! It's something I've really been working on lately because I want my life to be one big arrow that points to Him! I'm reading Bird by Bird write now in an attempt to become a better writer. I'll have to look into getting that book.

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  5. "Wonky" is polite, but I too am a Lamott fan. That part of being chosen just blows my mind and I'm afraid I forget it all too often.

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  6. um. i LOVE her. all of her, 'wonkiness' as you put it and all~ she speaks grace which is sorely lacking in chruch and truth which is sorely lacking in the world.

    keep writing dear one...m

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  7. Thanks for sharing your heart in post Jamie. I 2 have many screwed up days... thankful for your reminder that He loves yes... even little ol ordinary me. With Eye's on Jesus -> Press On Gal!

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  8. Jamie... Thank you so much for allowing God to use you and sharing it with the world. Your transparency encourages me to draw closer to God... and realize that I can stress all I want about my business but if Im not walking in tune with Him then its worthless.

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  9. Wow! I am definitely going to look for that book in the library. God is so amazing. His love for us amazes me everyday.

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  10. hey J. so i was procrastinating from studying finals and opened up facebook and then that somehow led me here.. and whoah it has been awhile eh? i haven't been on your blog forever and i checked up on all your recent photos. wanted to say HELLO and i am glad that your are soaking up some Jesus and his Word. i read Travelling Mercies a few years ago and i remember not liking it at all. HAH. especially after so many people have hyped it up. but i've had some of my really good friends recommend it and i always thought to myself that i would read it again and see if i like it this time. but who knows if that will happen. hope you are well friend!

    leah

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