Monday, January 19, 2009

Monday Night Drives

God meets me a lot in the car. It seems to be "our" place. It's a time where I'm alone, with nothing to do except for keeping my eyes on the road. 80% of the time I'm listening to worship music and just enjoying soaking up the words and the scripture that's sung. One of my favourite things to do: driving with worship music. More times than I can count, certain songs will come on my Ipod and I will just be overwhelmed and start to cry. Sometimes it'll be quiet tears, sometimes I'll be smiling while I'm crying, sometimes I'll be laughing that I am crying.

Tonight I just began to sob.

The song was "Holy Spirit Come" by Planetshakers. I can't find a video, but the lyrics are below:

Take me to the place Lord
Where there’s nothing else but me and You
Longing for Your presence
I know that You are calling me to You

Here I stand
And long for Your embrace
Nothing else
Could ever take Your place

Come Holy Spirit
Fall in this place
I need more and more of You
Fill me again with the power of Your Spirit
Lord I’m crying out for
More and more of You

Lord I’m crying out for
More and more of You (oh)

I had just spent the evening with a group of beautiful fourteen and fifteen year old girls; a youth lifegroup I've begun to help out at as a leader-in-training at my church. I have such a heart for this age. I was talking with the two leaders tonight about how my (and their) early teen years were such a time of spiritual highs and lows, ups and downs, belief and doubt, all this back and forth questioning and desiring something real but not "feeling" it. I remember so many dry spots in my life. So many. There was an altar call at our Friday night youth service last week. Our youth pastor called upon those that felt dry, that needed a real touch from God. About 80% of the kids went to the front. Amazing to see. As we discussed the previous week, us three women were reflecting back on those early teen years and remarking how beautiful it is to know and grow deeper with God. To just come to that place where you've built the foundation, as a friend put it, and even though there are highs and lows there aren't huge valleys of doubt--because it's just real. Though life can fall apart, God is SO real. I want everybody I meet to feel that; I want every girl I talk to to know His joy and His love and His peace.

I think it was just a combination of things that made me weep. I literally started to sob and tears were streaming down my face as I prayed for God's Holy Spirit to come to these girls. To fall in their lives. To guide their days. To speak to them in a real way. To show them that Jesus is relevant, Jesus is for today, Jesus is life. I cried for Him to come to me again and again and again and again. Everyday. Everyday I want more. I cried for those years: the years of discovery and of wanting to fit in and of self-loathing and of desiring to be what those around you want you to be, not what you actually are called to be by your personal Saviour. I cried in thankfulness that God brought me through that and calls me His child and desires me to be in communication with Him and for me to rest in Him.

Crying feels so good. Release.

3 comments:

  1. Bless you, Jamie!

    I can totally relate. I cry in worship too. I can feel God's presence the most when I'm listening to the words that God brings through the artists.

    I also have a desire to work with 14 to 16 year old girls. I can't even think about it without tearing up. I haven't been able to plugged into an area where this desire can be fulfilled. Like you said, it's the foundation years. So many things happened to me in that time of my life. I will pray that God continues to open doors for you in this area. Maybe one day, I will have the opportunity as well.

    Agreed, crying feels good.

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  2. I love this blog of yours, too, Jamie. So glad I thought to look at your profile and saw it. You're such a wonderous person (yea, I think I made that word up, but it works), and I wish I had gotten to spend more time with you in Vegas.

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  3. Hey Jamie! I just discovered this blog of yours, and I love to read of the things God teaches you! Thanks for introducing this song (even though I found this post a year after you wrote it!) and I found a video for it on youtube; it's actually called "Fall in this Place."

    You should really continue with this blog - I'm sure it's an encouragement to many people!

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